WHERE THERE’S A WILL:

A PLAY BY DELIA BIANCOFLORE

by

Brian Sands

ã Brian Sands 2003

WHERE THERE’S A WILL

First produced at Ligotage Theatre Royale, Rue D’Attache, Paris

with an international cast.

Adapted from the Bande Dessinee, Faux Projet by Brian Sands

Based on the novel Dangerous Inheritance by Mignon Marceau

Blanche White the good-time society girl Cordelia White

Gertrude Black the scheming aunt Alison Blau

Tilly Kettle the cook Delia Biancoflore

James Butler the butler Brian Sands

Colonel Red Killem the retired military officer Briccone Quattro

Rex Barker the Detective Inspector Jeb Delch

Rod Pierce the adventurer Noir Le Comte de Plaisance

Nigel Flannel would-be gigolo Donald Caisson

Dolores Beaucoeur the young heiress Laura Celeste

The play directed by Eloise Mordaza

The action takes place in the drawing room and the secret monk’s cell of the Beaucoeur country house somewhere in Scotland.

ACT ONE Scene 1 The drawing room

Scene 2 The drawing room

Scene 3 The secret room

ACT TWO Scene 1 The secret room

Scene 2 The secret room

ACT THREE Scene 1 The secret room

Scene 2 The secret room

Scene 3 The Drawing Room

Scene 4 The Drawing Room, some hours later

Time - the present

Sweet Eros, Iowa State, from pre-and post-production stills,

also in Bondage in Everyday Life

ACT I

Scene 1

The drawing room of the Boncoeur country house somewhere in Scotland. It is late morning.

The large room is carpeted and well furnished with a long sofa centre stage and a ring of armchairs with cushions centre stage, one left of the sofa, another centre stage, an armchair, and another armchair. A coffee table stands down centre stage with seven recently used coffee cups upon it. A well stocked liquor cabinet stands against the wall upper stage right beyond a door centre stage right that leads to other parts of the house, the front door and stairs to an upper level. Another door situated down stage right opens into the kitchen and servants’ quarters. On the other side of the room at centre stage left is a large fireplace with a fire blazing in it.

The CURTAIN rises to reveal a group of people seated in the armchairs and on the sofa. GERTRUDE BLACK reclines in the sofa close to the audience. She is dressed immaculately if somewhat severely in a mannish dark suit of trousers and jacket with high heeled boots. A white blouse with a stiff collar and a red silk breast-pocket handkerchief breaks the severe impression a little. At the far end of the sofa sits BLANCHE WHITE. She is wearing a smart blue business suit of slacks and jacket offset by a white silk blouse with an oval broach at the throat. She sits well apart from GERTRUDE and it becomes obvious that the two women do not like each other. Between them on the sofa looking smug sits NIGEL FLANNEL. He is wearing an expensive-looking grey suit, white shirt and string tie. In the armchair on the other side of the coffee table sits COLONEL RED KILLEM. He is wearing a brightly checked tweed suit. Next to him, on his left sits ROD PIERCE. He wears a dark suit and tie. In the chair opposite him and next to BLANCHE WHITE sits DOLORES BEAUCOEUR. She is wearing a blue silk tafetta dress in the style called a shirt-maker, with narrow white organza collars highlighting a deep V-neckline, long full sleeves to the wrists, a bodice buttoned down the front, and a wide black belt. Tucked into the belt is a large silk scarf with a variegated pattern in pink, blue and red. A full skirt falls just above her ankles to reveal black medium high-heeled shoes with straps around ankles and insteps. It is obvious that both ROD PIERCE and NIGEL FLANNEL are interested in her. Standing behind the chair at centre stage where he has obviously been sitting - his overcoat is draped across one of the armrests - is REX BARKER, a large meerschaum pipe in his hand. At the doorway centre stage right stands JAMES BUTLER at attention wearing the dinner suit of his vocation, and at the doorway to the kitchen down stage right in a cook’s white uniform stands TILLY KETTLE, biting her nails.

Blanche Now that we’re here, Inspector, will you mind telling us what this is all about?

Gertrude What our young socialite means, Inspector, in her indirect way, is whether this gathering is for the reading of a Will or a police investigation?

Colonel Quite, Inspector. I travelled a long way to attend the reading of a Will. The death of the old lady, though an unhappy event, is not our concern. She’s had her chips and that’s that!

Tilly (Breaking into tears). Oh lawks. To talk about the departed so ...!

Colonel No offence meant to the kindhearted amongst us, but it is a question worth asking.

Rod And it deserves an answer, which I am sure the Inspector is about to give us.

Rex (Clearing his throat a trifle testily). It is true that there is to be the reading of the old lady’s Will, and that it was scheduled for this afternoon. However, because of the criminal investigations to which I have been entrusted, the reading has been rescheduled for tomorrow morning at ten.

Colonel But, dash it all, that means we have to find somewhere to stay the night!

Gertrude There’s no need to fret, Colonel Killem. As a regular visitor to this hall, and a likely beneficiary of the Will ...

Blanche That’s all of us!

Gertrude (Ignoring the interruption). I have taken it upon myself to arrange with James for everyone to have rooms for the night. Isn’t that so, James?

James Indeed, Madam. The old lady ran this residence as a bed and breakfast in the summer, and there are many suitable rooms.

Tilly If it please you, I have dusted and vaccuumed the rooms and made the beds, all on the first floor by the head o’ the stairs. It’s been no trouble.

Colonel Well, I suppose it’ll have to do. Damn bad management if you ask me.

Gertrude No-one’s asking you.

Nigel I don’t mind spending the night in such charming company. (He leers openly at DOLORES who straightens the filmy silk of her skirt over her knees so that the hem now covers her ankles).

Gertrude (Looking across at DOLORES). Come my dear, a beautiful young woman like you surrounded by so many beaus! You must positively be basking in their adulation.

Dolores (Diplomatically but looking a little flustered). I think this occasion is too serious for light socialising. There are legal requirements, my own claims to the inheritance for instance. But nothing can be certain until the Will has been read.

Blanche That’s correct, Dolores. Until then, I suggest that we keep all socialising to the barest minimum.

Rod There may be an opportunity for quiet celebration at a later date. (DOLORES throws ROD and BLANCHE quick glances and smiles wanly. She is clearly appreciative of their support). So, Inspector?

Rex Well ... (He walks slowly from behind the chair and circles the group, pausing behind their backs one by one as he speaks). As you know - it was in all the papers - Madame Boncoeur was found three days ago, drowned in the weir. But there were signs of a struggle. It’s interesting that the footprints in the soggy loam above the banks indicate that she and her attacker were at first walking side by side. It is likely that she knew her killer, as the signs of struggle appear only by the water’s edge. It is possible that you all have alibis. Some of you may not have been visiting the district at all. On the other hand, those of you who are relatively close relatives, a half-sister such as yourself Madame Gertrude Black, or a niece like you Mam’selle Dolores Beaucoeur, may have been visiting.

Gertrude I was attending a craft exhibition in Edinburgh that day.

Blanche Can you prove it dear?

Gertrude Of course I can! I have the tickets to several of the display booths to prove it.

Blanche Were you with anyone who can vouch for you?

Gertrude (In a haughty voice). That’s none of your business! And anyway, what alibi have you? As the secretary to several society charities the old lady supported, you might just as well have been visiting her.

Rex Ladies! I am the one asking those questions. It goes with the job. It is up to you to provide your alibis when I question you, one by one.

Gertrude And when will that be, pray?

Rex This afternoon after lunch. At three o’clock to be precise, I shall interview you one by one. Half-sister and niece. Old family neighbour and friend (He indicates COLONEL KILLEM). Charity organiser (He nods in BLANCHE’S direction). You, Mister Rod Pierce, the son of one of the old woman’s elderly friends. Then there’s you, Mister Flannel, someone that the old lady’s been meeting in London for several months. If you don’t mind me saying, you appear to stand out in this little gathering. You are not a relative and you are a comparative newcomer to her little group. And of course there is the butler and the cook. You must all be questioned.

Colonel Well that’s a relief. This afternoon eh? Some action at last!

Rex In the meantime, I suggest that you take rest, either in your rooms or in the grounds, or in the billiard hall. That’s all for now. (He moves towards his chair and gathers up his overcoat).

Colonel (Rising to his feet). Suits me. (He turns to ROD). Fancy a game of snooker young feller? Keep my hand in, what?

Rod (Casting a reluctant glance at DOLORES as he rises). Righto. (To DOLORES). I’ll, um, see you at lunch?

Dolores I’ll save a chair next to mine. (ROD bows slightly and follows COLONEL KILLEM through the door centre stage right. TILLY unobtrusively exits through the door down stage right. BLANCHE and GETRUDE have both risen but stand facing each other uncertainly, one waiting for the other to exit first. Then BLANCHE with a disdainful moue turns on her heels and walks out the door centre stage right with her head in the air. GERTRUDE looks at REX BARKER, shrugs, and follows more slowly. DOLORES begins to follow her but NIGEL steps forward quickly and takes her by the upper arm).

Nigel Dolores, I must talk with you. (REX BARKER looks quizzically at them a moment, then exits centre stage right with purposeful strides. JAMES follows, softly closing the door behind him. DOLORES and NIGEL are alone, standing down centre stage. They remain for several seconds in an awkward tableau).

Dolores (Her voice tight with a mixture of annoyance and apprehension). What do you want Nigel?

Nigel Dolores, I need to know something.

Dolores You’ve needed to know a lot of things. Unfortunately you never seem to get the message ... You’re hurting my arm! (She pulls away from the man’s grasp and turns to face him more fully, keeping her distance).

Nigel It was a stroke of luck meeting you here. As the old lady’s niece you stand to reap the benefits of the Will. And I’m just the person who can give you great investment opportunities ... And other opportunities.

Dolores If it’s all the same to you, I’m quite capable of organising my own affairs. And what’s more, I don’t enjoy the look in your eyes, Mr Flannel. We may have known each other at university, as you reminded me at breakfast, but it was always a passing acquaintance.

Nigel Then it’s about time we became better acquainted.

Dolores No thank you. I’ve never forgotten that silly prank you and some of your more stupid friends pulled on Guy Fawke’s night. You left me bound to a post in the middle of the bonfire.

Nigel There was a rumour you liked that sort of thing, especially after starrring in that adaptation of The Collector in your drama class.

Dolores I liked the fantasy of it, yes, and I was young. A lot of amateur actresses enjoy playing the parts of heroines and damsels in distress.

Nigel I heard more than that. Someone said you and your roommate practised tying each other up.

Dolores We were rehearsing for that play, you idiot. Have you been holding on to that stupid fantasy all these years? A stage play is a very different thing from real life, and especially a public bonfire. You and your cronies went too far. I was hooded and with my head tied so I couldn’t move. But first you taped a gag inside my mouth, remember? So when the other students came to light the bonfire and set off the fireworks I couldn’t cry out to them. It was lucky that my roommate recognised the patterned long slip you left me wearing. She raised the alarm and they got me out in time, before the logs really caught alight.

Nigel I would have jumped in and saved you.

Dolores Maybe you planned it that way, but I heard that you and your mates were down at the tavern getting drunk.

Nigel We lost track of time.

Dolores And I was almost killed! No, Nigel. I don’t want anything to do with you.

Nigel Dolores, don’t be silly. We can patch it up. There’s opportunities ... (He steps forward and takes DOLORES impetuously and roughly by a wrist).

Dolores Let go of me!

Nigel Aw, come on! (DOLORES pulls back and with her free hands slaps NIGEL hard across the face. The man releases her and staggers back, one hand to his cheek). You little bitch!

Dolores That does it! Get out! Get out of this room! Get out of my life! I never wanted to see you again after that time, and I don’t want to see you any better now!

Nigel (Backing by mistake to the door down right stage in his desire to get away). You - you’ll be sorry! I’ll make you pay for that!

Dolores If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll tell Rod. He’ll sort you out.

Nigel (Truculently). I’m going. (He exits through the door down right stage).

Dolores (Sinking into a chair and burying her face in her hands). Oh god, what a mess! Why has that awful man come back into my life?

(The door down right stage opens and JAMES enters unobtrusively, closing it softly behind him).

James Can I be of assistance, Mam’selle?

Dolores (Raising her head and speaking distractedly). No - No, it’s all right, James. I’ve just had a little upset. I’ll get over it.

James We could not help noticing the gentleman’s somewhat precipitous departure through the kitchen, Mam’selle. Is everything all right?

JAMES walks to DOLORES and places his hand gently on her arm, on the same spot that NIGEL FLANNEL had just mauled. However, DOLORES moves a little closer to him. JAMES gently hands DOLORES’ a white handkerchief with which she dabs her eyes.

Dolores I can’t hide anything from you, can I, James? No, it’s not all right. We had a quarrel, but not the sort of quarrel I want to mend. If ... If Mister Flannel should return looking for me, will you be kind enough to let me know?

James So that you can be otherwise engaged Mam’selle?

Dolores That’s right ... James ... (DOLORES takes JAME’S hand). We’ve known each other for several years, when I used to visit Madame Beaucoeur in happier times ... Do you think it was wise of me to come back after being away so long? I don’t think some of the others are happy about a contender to the legacy suddenly appearing out of the blue.

James Not everyone seems to be against you, Mam’selle Dolores. Certainly the staff are not. And I suggest that Miss Blanche White has taken a liking to you, not to mention the young man.

Dolores Rod? No, he’s sweet, but something of a tear-away I’m told - getting off to far-away places in Africa and South America.

James That’s true Mam’selle.

Dolores I think I need more stability in my life, James. I’ll be glad when this whole mess is over ... Oh, may I keep this handkerchief?

James Certainly Mam’selle ... Will that be all, Mam’selle? (JAMES gently disengages his hand from DOLORES’ arm and moves towards the door).

Dolores Yes ... Oh, one more thing James, before you go. Mister Flannel ...?

James The gentleman was last seen driving his sports car towards the village, and I have been told that he packed his bags.

Dolores That’s a relief anyway.. (JAMES begins to leave). Oh ... James?

James (Turning). Mam’selle?

Dolores If you are ever in the city, I should like very much to meet you for tea, person to person.

James Mam’selle! To do such a thing would be above my station!

Dolores Times change, James. And we’ve known each other for so many years. I’ve been away on the Continent and I need one or two trusted friends in my life. I know you’re a cultured man beneath that butlerish facade ...Anyway, will you consider it?

James Certainly Mam’selle. (He pauses thoughtfully). It is leap year, Mam’selle. (JAMES bows slightly and exits backwards down right stage).

Dolores (Turning and walking back towards the armchair beside the sofa). Yes. It is! It is leap year. (She hugs herself and remains still with her head bowed pensively).

Curtain

ACT I

Scene 2

THE DRAWING ROOM

It is about twenty minutes later. DOLORES is still sitting in one of the armchairs, a magazine in her lap. She is gazing moodily into the fire. Gradually she nods off. The magazine slides from her lap to the floor and her arm drops to the side over one of the armrests. The two movements startle her out of her reverie.

Dolores (Sitting up, stretching and yawning). Gosh, is that the time?

Gertrude (Stepping from the shadows from left centre stage. It is not immediately apparent where she has come from). Yes. It’s nearly lunch, and the others may be waiting.

Dolores (Bending and retrieving the fallen magazine and coming to her feet). Aunt Gertrude! I must have dozed off. I didn’t hear you come in. (She begins to walk towards the door centre stage right).

Gertrude Wait a moment, my dear. There’s something I want to show you.

Dolores I’m really not in the mood for surprises. Can you show me another time?

Gertrude No, because I don’t want the others to know.

Dolores (Turning). All right, what is it?

Gertrude I found this by chance. (GERTRUDE walks to the fireplace left centre stage and points at the wall).

Dolores Well? All I can see is a wall ... Oh no! You’re not going to tell me that you’ve found the secret passage?

Gertrude (A trifle taken aback). How did you guess?

Dolores Old houses like this often have them. They’re usually bricked up though.

Gertrude This one isn’t bricked up.

Dolores (Showing interest). No? I’ve never really explored one. All I know about them comes from reading books, and gossip - old wives’ tales.

Gertrude Well now’s your chance, dear. We can pass the time before lunch. I’ve only walked part-way along the passage, and you may be right, perhaps it is bricked up at the far end. But it will be fun finding out eh? (DOLORES looks at her watch). We’ve plenty of time.

Dolores Well ... All right. (She takes the silk scarf from her belt, folds it into a triangle, and pulls it over her head, wrapping the ends around her throat and tying them loosely at the back of her neck to imparts a chic, European look). There may be cobwebs.

Gertrude Good idea. I didn’t want everybody to come traipsing in to steal my thunder. We can reveal it to them over lunch.

Dolores It will be a diversion from our more serious business.

Gertrude Exactly. (She presses against a particular section of brick beside the fireplace and a panel opens up in the wall). Hey presto! ... Follow me, dear. I have a torch.

Dolores This is exciting.

Gertrude It may become more exciting, depending on what we find at the other end.

(GERTRUDE stoops and enters the low doorway. DOLORES after pausing for some seconds follows her. The wood panel closes).

Curtain

ACT I

Scene 3

THE SECRET ROOM.

The curtain rises on a small dimly lit room. It is empty aside from a heavy chair down centre stage and a small table with a single drawer midway between down left and left centre stage. Two walls have wood panelling and one wall is of stone. A door opens left centre stage and two figures emerge. There is the sound of a switch. As the lights come up, they reveal DOLORES and GERTRUDE. The latter has moved behind DOLORES and is carrying a torch now switched off.

DOLORES unties the silk scarf from her throat and head, drops it onto the table and walks to stage centre. She looks around her.

Dolores What a strange place! I always wondered whether it was true that old English mansions really did have secret passages and hidden rooms. How did you get to know about it?

Gertrude (Speaking over her shoulder while busying herself at the drawer of the table with her back to DOLORES and out of sight of the audience). The old lady told me last month. But it wasn’t until a couple of days ago that I decided to see for myself.

Dolores I thought you said that you found it by chance.

Gertrude Well, I did, in a way ... Cosy isn’t it?

Dolores But creepy too ... and so quiet. (She hugs her arms around her body and shivers).

Gertrude Oh yes... Very quiet. No one can hear us in here, which is of course the whole purpose of monk’s cells and other hiding places like this one. (GERTRUDE turns. She is now holding a small automatic pistol in one hand and several coils of rope in the other hand).

Dolores (With her back to GERTRUDE, oblivious of the woman’s preparations). I can see how useful this place must have been in dangerous times. So one can hide from one’s enemies.

Gertrude (In a tight, strained voice). Or keep one’s enemies hidden from their friends.

(DOLORES turns. It takes a moment for her to register the weapon and the ropes that GERTRUDE is holding. DOLORES puts her hands to her mouth and backs away slowly.)

Dolores Wh- What is this? Why a gun and ropes?

Gertrude The pistol, my dear Mam’selle, is to persuade you to sit in that chair. The ropes are to restrain you there at my pleasure.

Dolores B- But ... I don’t understand.

Gertrude I will make it very plain for you in a little while. But in the meantime I advise you not to create a fuss and to sit in that chair like a good little girl.

(DOLORES turns and reluctantly sits in the chair. GERTRUDE presses the side of the automatic against DOLORES’ neck. DOLORES shivers and sits very still).

Gertrude Now put your arms behind you my dear Mam’selle.

(DOLORES obeys. GERTRUDE slips the pistol into a side pocket of her jacket and binds DOLORES’ hands behind heraround the back of the chair. She then binds her ankles).

Dolores Please ... no! (She begins to struggle).

Gertrude Keep still, Mam’selle Dolores. Any struggling will be futile. I have you now. There’s no escape. When you’ve spent a day or three like this you’ll be ready to do my bidding.

Dolores Aunt Gertrude, what do you think you’re doing?

Gertrude (triumphantly ): That will hold you. A judicious application of rope is all it needs to keep you on ice while I make up my mind about you.

Dolores (struggling) : You don’t have to do this. I am who I say I am - Dolores Beaucoeur, the rightful heir to the Boncourt fortune.

Gertrude A likely story. None of the other guests for the reading of the will knew of you. If you really are the heiress, you’ve kept a low profile for many years. And, for that matter, you don’t have the same name as the dear deceased. No. I rather think I’ll make some inquiries. And, in the meantime, I think it’s important that you disappear temporarily.

Dolores You can’t get away with this. They’ll miss me. And that crazy detective will start asking questions.

Gertrude I’ll tell them that you decided to visit a village twenty miles away and will be gone for a few days. They’ll have no reason to disbelieve me, especially when they find that your little car is no longer where you left it parked.

Dolores (registering sudden alarm). Inspector Rex Barker is investigating the possibility of foul play in the death of the old woman.

Gertrude Yes. It won’t look good for you if you can’t be found, will it? That’s a good way to persuade you to make yourself scarce. When I let you go of course.

Dolores (struggling anew). These ropes are awfully tight! Can’t you loosen them a little? I promise I shan’t try to escape.

Gertrude Under the circumstances, you must agree that such a promise is worthless. (She turns and walks towards the doorway. DOLORES struggles harder).

Dolores Aunt Gertrude, you can’t leave me like this! Not in the dark! You can’t be so heartless!

Gertrude Oh but I can be heartless, Mam’selle Beaucoeur or whoever you are. (She turns back to DOLORES and snatches the girl’s own silk scarf from the table as she walks past it).

Dolores Look, I’ll make a bargain with you. I’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning before anyone is up. (GERTRUDE pauses and listens, a knowing grin on her face). I’ll write a note saying I was ill.

Gertrude Passably convincing, my dear Mam’selle. But I’m afraid not convincing enough. Your little outburst reminds me that precautions must be taken. (She gags DOLORES with the scarf). I rather doubt that anyone will hear your cries through the wainscoting, but this will make absolutely sure. (DOLORES tries to speak, shakes her head angrily, and looks daggers at GERTRUDE ).

With her hands on her hips, GERTRUDE stands a moment looking down at DOLORES who is struggling to free herself of the gag. GERTRUDE walks nonchalantly to the door, turns, and blows a kiss ironically towards the prisoner. She exits. The door closes slowly with a creaking sound. The lighting begins to fade until only a diagonal wedge thrown by the spotlight remains centred on DOLORES, bathing her in light. Gradually that too fades until the stage is plunged into darkness. There is a faint whimper followed by silence.

Curtain

ACT II

Scene 1

THE SECRET ROOM. EVENING. SEVERAL HOURS LATER

The room is in darkness. The area gradually illuminates to reveal a figure seated in a chair centre stage. It is DOLORES, her head bowed. She is still bound and gagged. The illumination grows until she is bathed in an island of light. There is a sound at the door stage centre left. DOLORES raises her head wearily and looks back over her shoulder towards the source of the sound. GERTRUDE enters. She is wearing a smart jacket and skirt with a string of pearls at her throat. She struts across to DOLORES and stands before her, her arms folded across her chest.

Gertrude I trust you’re not too uncomfortable Mam’selle Dolores. It was necessary to leave you for some time and, I’m afraid, that shall continue. Unless of course you cooperate. Now, if I remove your gag I hope there will be no hysterics. If you start calling for help, or blubbering, it will go straight back on. Do you understand? (DOLORES nods her head and grunts emphatically). Very well. (GERTRUDE leans forward and unties the gag, dropping it carelessly across her prisoner’s lap).

Dolores (Shaking her head and coughing). Oof! (She raises her head and looks directly at GERTRUDE). What do you plan to do with me?

Gertrude That depends a lot on what we agree upon in the next few minutes. I’ll be plain, I don’t want you around to contest the will tomorow.

Dolores But I am the rightful heir.

Gertrude That’s as may be. I can’t see any evidence for it except your own say-so.

Dolores But I have evidence. It’s ... (She stops in mid-sentence in confusion).

Gertrude Really? You said nothing about evidence at the meeting with the Inspector. That gives me another motive for keeping you here.

Dolores Another motive? I don’t understand.

Gertrude We-ell, your beau Nigel Flannel has something of a roving eye, and he was casting it in my direction. But he appears to have disappeared. The poor detective inspector is twitching his nose suspiciously. I will of course encourage Nigel any way I can if he has not done a bunk. His parents are very rich don’t you know? He will be quite a catch. He’s pretty gormless, but with his assets he makes a good handbag.

Dolores I - I don’t really care. First of all, Nigel is not my beau. He has unredeeming qualities you wouldn’t believe. Although, come to think of it, you might find yourselves well suited.

Gertrude How long have you known him?

Dolores Well, not since we were at university together, but I’m a good judge of human nature. And experience shows that he hasn’t changed. But in any case, he’s done a bunk, as you put it

Gertrude (Laughing). Good judge indeed! It was as easy as pie to lure you to this little nook. See where your naivete has got you? (She advances menacingly towards DOLORES). I’m not really a very nice person, Mam’selle, as you are no doubt beginning to discover. (She picks up the gag from DOLORES’ lap). I’m leaving you for a while. There are things I have to do, and the night is young. In the meantime, you can stew here some more ... Now, let’s see. I think I’ll take a little more care that no one will hear your cries for help. They say that sound travels faster at night. And. What have we here? (GERTRUDE sees the handkerchief that JAMES had given DOLORES earlier tucked into DOLORES’ belt. She removes it, stuffs it into DOLORES’ mouth and ties the silk scarf tightly around the young woman’s face to hold the gag in place, knotting the scarf securely behind her neck). When I come back, I’ll have some very pertinent questions for you about the, ahh, evidence you say you have. I advise you to be truthful in your replies, or it will go badly for you. There is an oubliette in another part of this old house, and the passage to this room leads there too.

GERTRUDE departs through the door. The lights dim until DOLORES is again bathed in the spotlight. She struggles frantically but to no avail. Fade-out as she lowers her head and gives up struggling.

Curtain

ACT II

Scene 2

THE SECRET ROOM. MORNING, THE NEXT DAY.

The curtain opens to reveal DOLORES, still sitting in the chair bound and gagged. GERTRUDE enters from left centre stage and walks across to DOLORES, a breakfast tray in her hands.

Gertrude Wakey-wakey. How’s my little prisoner this morning? I trust you were not too uncomfortable during the night. (She places the tray on the table and walks across to DOLORES). I thought you would need some refreshment, just a little, mind. We can’t have you over-eating. Now, let me see ... (GERTRUDE bends over DOLORES and begins to pluck at the knot of the gag at the back of her neck. She seems to have a sudden thought and stops and straightens up.)

Gertrude Before I take this thing off, I don’t have to warn you to remain quiet again do I? Any attempt to scream or call for help will end in being gagged again with no breakfast. Do you understand? Shake or nod your head. (DOLORES nods vigorously). Good. I’m glad we understand each other. (GERTRUDE completes untying the cloth, dropping it carelessly into DOLORES’ lap as before. DOLORES spits out the gag and works her jaw, licking her lips).

Dolores (In a husky voice). Water ... (GERTRUDE fetches a glass of fruit juice from the breakfast tray and holds it to DOLORES’ lips). Thank you. (She drinks).

Gertrude Now, dear Mam’selle, you’ve had all night to think matters over. (She replaces the empty glass on the tray and turns back to DOLORES as she speaks). I hope you have come to the right decision, for your own sake. Tell me what I want to know about that evidence of yours and I’ll be magnanimous and feed you some of this yummy toast. (GERTRUDE takes a mouthful and begins munching).

Dolores I’m not hungry. And I have no intention of telling you where the documents are hidden.

Gertrude (Speaking with her mouth full). Aha, so it is documents I must seek. You do understand that you shan’t be released until you agree to my demands.

Dolores You can’t keep me here indefinitely. My disappearance can’t have gone unnoticed.

Gertrude No indeed. The police at this moment are scouring the district for you, as we suspected they would. (She laughs nastily). You’re the top suspect since your unexplained disappearance - you and that wet Flannel.

Dolores I - I have nothing to do with him, or with the murder. But you, on the other hand, have the motive.

Gertrude (Shaking her head). That’s a very dangerous thing to say, Mam’selle, considering that you are bound and completely helpless and at my mercy. If I am the murderer, then why am I offering you freedom - for a price? I would be more likely to make sure that you were never able to tell the police, or anyone, anything, ever again!

Dolores (Shivering in fright). I don’t understand. If you’re not the murderer, then who is?

Gertrude How should I know? I’m only in this game for the money. (GERTRUDE leans conspiratorially over DOLORES). I’ll let you know that much because it’s best for you to tell me where the documents are, and then make yourself scarce. Before you came along, I had a nice little scam going with the old lady - until she died, of course. Without you around, I have sole title to the fortune because of the papers the old duck signed over to me.

Dolores But don’t you see that our lives may be in danger because we both have interests in the will! (She begins to struggle agitatedly but her bonds hold her fast). Please untie me. I’ve been tied up all night. Let’s go together and tell the Inspector what we know. We’ll have police protection then.

Gertrude Set you free, just like that? Oh no, my dear Mam’selle. I will brook no competition.

Dolores Then I shan’t cooperate. You can’t hold me here forever. You’re not a killer, so eventually you’ll have to let me go.

Gertrude Ah, but I can make your incarceration here very uncomfortable. No respite from your bonds; no bathroom privileges. How many more hours do you think you can take, trussed up like a turkey with that gag in your mouth?

Dolores Do your worst. (She raises her head and looks up at GERTRUDE defiantly). I shan’t cave in to your wishes.

Gertrude (Angrily). I was hoping you’d see reason. Well, you’ll stay on ice till lunch, then I’ll ask you again. In the meantime, I am obliged to gag you again. (GERTRUDE takes up the scarf and prepares to gag DOLORES. DOLORES renews her struggles and attempts to bite GERTRUDE who pulls her hand away sharply).

Gertrude You little spitfire! Do you want me to slap your face?

Dolores No ... please. (She relaxes with a look of resignation). I guess I can’t do a thing to stop you.

Gertrude Hold on to that thought ... Hmm, I almost forgot to put this on properly. (GERTRUDE takes up the wadded handkerchief, still in DOLORES’ lap.)

Dolores (Desperately). Please reconsider what you’re doing! If the murderer is still around ... Mmph.’

Gertrude That will hold your tongue. (She stuffs the gag into DOLORES’mouth. She then ties the scarf tightly over her prisoner’s face). You now have more to think about. When I come back, I want some cooperation.

GERTRUDE crosses back to the table, takes up the breakfast tray and exits stage centre left. The lights dim, lingering momentarily on DOLORES who is shaking her head in an unsuccessful effort to dislodge the gag.

Curtain

ACT III

Scene 1

THE SECRET ROOM. LATER THAT AFTERNOON.

The curtain opens to reveal GERTRUDE standing over DOLORES who is still bound and gagged. GERTRUDE has a long piece of cord in her hands with which she plays, twisting and turning it as she speaks.

Gertrude Now that you’ve had many more hours to reflect on your predicament, my dear, I trust that you have reached some wise decisions. Can I understand that you have done so? (DOLORES nods wearily). Good. Am I to understand too that it will be to my advantage if I take that discommoding gag out of your pretty mouth? (Again DOLORES nods her head). I’m very pleased. It is up to you to keep me pleased. So ... (GERTRUDE tosses the piece of cord onto the floor and bends down and unfastens the knot at the back of DOLORES’ neck. It takes some time as the knot is tied very tighly and, when the cloth bandage is finally removed, DOLORES expels the wad from between her jaws with a retching sound). Not very nice to remain gagged for so many hours, is it? There will be more of the same unless you cooperate.

Dolores (Catching her breath). I- I’ll do what you ask. Only please untie me first.

Gertrude (Shaking her head). Oh no! You shall remain securely bound until we have a perfect understanding between us.

Dolores But these ropes! They hurt so much. They’re cutting off circulation.

Gertrude (Walking behind DOLORES and inspecting her bound wrists). I don’t think so. They’re tight, but your hands are not swollen. I admit you must be cramped and uncomfortable from sitting for so long. But you have to stay that way a little longer ... Now (GERTRUDE walks back and stands facing DOLORES stage centre right). Enough time-wasting, you little fool! Tell me how you intend to cooperate.

Dolores I - I’ll tell you where the document is hidden.

Gertrude Yes?

Dolores And I’ll go away from here, as far and as fast as possible.

Gertrude Very good. But what guarantees do I have that you will keep your word?

Dolores You - You can hold me here until you’ve satisfied yourself about the document.

Gertrude Hmm. In spite of the tight bonds you just complained about?

Dolores I- I can stand it, if you give me your word to let me go. It won’t take long to find the document.

Gertrude Aha. Where is it then?

Dolores First, give me your word that you’ll release me.

Gertrude You’re in no position to bargain, my dear. You’ll have to take my guarantee at face value. (DOLORES falls silent for some moments). Well? Make up your mind. I can’t wait. The group is meeting soon in the drawing room for another of Inspector Barker’s little monologues. And they’ve given up searching for you, by the way. There is a countywide police alert of course. You’ll have to be very clever to get through their cordon. But I’m sure a smart modern young woman like you will find a way. Disguise yourself as a washerwoman, aha-ha.

Dolores You’re ...

Gertrude Despicable? Heartless? Come now, you can do better than that! Or maybe there’s something else you had better not enquire into too deeply, sweetheart ... Now ... (GERTRUDE produces her pistol and waves it tauntingly in front of DOLORES’face). Enough social banter. Tell me what the document is, and where it is!

Dolores It- It’s a more up-to-date Will. And I hid it in the wall of my bedroom.

Gertrude The Will’s in the wall? Oh yes. These old houses have lots of little secrets, don’t they? Like this little room. Well? In which part of the wall is it hidden?

Dolores There’s a loose brick next to the mantelpiece. I put it in the cavity there, for safekeeping.

Gertrude Why?

Dolores The- The Will is in my favour. But I didn’t want the responsibility. I owed the old lady for many kindnesses and I didn’t wish to take the inheritance from her favourite charity, the Orphaned Cats Association.

Gertrude Very noble of you my dear. Bu tI don’t believe you. (She laughs nastily). It doesn’t make sense.

Dolores (Defensively). I have my own resources, my own private fortune. I have no need for more wealth ... Now that you know where the Will is, won’t you satisfy yourself about it? Though how you will make use of it I have no idea.

Gertrude I shan’t make use of it, my dear. I’ll destroy it. Or ... We shall see. Perhaps I can replace your name with mine.

Dolores Do what you will with it for all I care. Only please get these ropes off me!

Gertrude All in good time. I’ll have no further use for you once I have the Will in my hands. (She slips the pistol away into her handbag).

Dolores Go ahead and put that awful gag back on me. Then get the document and free me. I’ll have to trust you.

Gertrude Your trust is not misplaced. If I get what I want, I am magnanimous with my defeated enemies.

Dolores I’m not your enemy!

Gertrude I know, I know. Just a figure of speech. (She takes up the gag from DOLORES’ lap). I’ll be quick my dear. You shan’t have to wait long. Then it will be your turn to keep your part of the bargain.

Dolores I will, I promise ... mmmph. (GERTRUDE inserts the gag between DOLORES’ jaws and ties the scarf tightly over her mouth).

Gertrude There you are, nice and quiet again. Amazing how a couple of pieces of cloth can keep a troublesome young woman quiet. I brought some more rope, to tie you tighter into the chair. (She nudges the rope on the floor by DOLORES’ feet with the tip of her shoe). I see that I shan’t need to use it.

(GERTRUDE stands a moment looking down at DOLORES, her hands on her hips. Then, with a swish of her skirts, she turns and walks toward the door centre stage left. DOLORES subsides in her chair, a look of resignation apparent in her eyes and by the incline of her head).

As GERTRUDE raises her hand towards the doorknob, the door opens and the dark figure of a man appears. He is wearing an overcoat. A deerstalker hat is pulled down low over his face, obscuring his identity. A large revolver is in his hand. GERTRUDE steps back in sudden alarm.

Gertrude (Her hands to her mouth). Wh - who are you?

The Man (Speaking in a muffled voice). A not so innocent bystander, M’lady. I couldn’t help overhearing your most interesting conversation. This old house is, as you say, full of surprises. I did not expect to find anyone here. And your presence forces me to change my plans. I’m afraid that I cannot allow either of you to go free. You will only blab to the police. It is very unfortunate ... for you.

Gertrude You - So it was you who killed the old lady?

The Man What do you think? (He waves the revolver towards the shadows upper left centre stage). There is a chair. Kindly bring it and place it beside your, ah, friend. (GERTRUDE obeys reluctantly while THE MAN watches intently). Sit! (GERTRUDE sits. There is a look of thwarted cunning on her face).

Gertrude You know, I think we can help each other. I have a bargain.

The Man (Ironically). Tell me more. (He picks up the piece of rope lying on the floor and begins to tie GERTRUDE’S arms behind the back of the chair).

Gertrude Split the proceeds. If we find the Will hidden by young Dolores here, I’ll destroy it and share the inheritance with you.

The Man Tempting. But I was listening to your conversation when it began. I know as well as you where Mam’selle Dolores has secreted the Will. (He proceeds to unfasten some of the rope holding DOLORES to her chair).

Gertrude Yes, but you’re not me! It’s impossible for you to lay hands on the fortune. It has to be through me.

The Man (Speaking as he begins to tie GERTRUDE’S ankles together and fix them to the chair’s leg with the piece of rope). That’s as may be. However, I can’t afford to wait for the slow wheels of legal argument to grind through all the processes. You’ve presented me with a problem. That is, what to do with you both?

Gertrude (A hint of desperation in her voice). You can go into hiding while I negotiate with the Trustees. It will take a little time, I admit, but think of the advantages to you. I can hardly go to the police.

The Man I’ll give your offer some thought. In the meantime, both of you shall remain incommunicado. I wonder what our clever inspector will make of more, let us say, suspects going missing? (He takes a long silk scarf from his pocket, a man’s opera scarf, and winds it twice between GERTRUDE’S jaws, tying it off at the back of her neck). That will hold you temporarily. (He turns and looks searchingly at DOLORES and tests her remaining bonds). Hmm. I have plans for you. You should not have told me - us, perhaps - that you had a personal fortune. Already, serious crimes can be laid against me. What does a little thing more, like a kidnapping for ransom, mean? Eh? Eh? (DOLORES’ eyes open wide and she emits a shrill but faint cry through her gag).

The Man (Continuing to look fixedly at DOLORES). Yes. It will be necessary to transport you to a place where you can be held more securely, pending the finding of a suitable ransom. You can’t be entirely alone in the world, Miss Dolores. Perhaps my newly acquired accomplice will be able to suggest something, eh? You will find her rich uncle or father, someone who can pay the bills, won’t you my dear? (GERTRUDE nods her head vigorously and tries to speak through her gag).

The Man I’m sorry, but for the moment you will both remain gagged. (He addresses DOLORES) You, all of the time, and you (addressing GERTRUDE) until I know I can trust you. (THE MAN bends forward and tests the ropes holding both women. He then tests their gags, stopping and tightening DOLORES’ gag). I’ll leave you both to stew while I see what’s going on upstairs. You, Miss Dolores, don’t have to do any thinking. Your role in this little drama is to remain a still and very mute prisoner, indefinitely. (DOLORES shakes her head and moans softly through her gag). On the other hand, Gertrude my dear, it’s up to you to cook up some good alibis that will convince our smart detective fellow, and determine how we can both get our hands on Miss Dolores’ inheritance and other assets she has stored away. I advise you to come up with some good schemes or you will share the same fate as Miss Dolores here, long, boring and painful days enduring the thrust of the gag, bound and of course blindfolded. And there is a very deep river nearby.

(THE MAN exits upper stage left. GERTRUDE and DOLORES look at each other and begin struggling frantically in their bonds. They can make very little sound through their gags. Then GERTRUDE starts to edge her chair towards DOLORES. Their eyes meet. DOLORES nods in understanding and begins to move her chair too. But it is a slow process. The light fades on the two struggling women).

Curtain

ACT III

Scene 2

THE SECRET ROOM, LATER THAT EVENING

(The curtain opens on DOLORES and GERTRUDE. They are still bound to their chairs, but DOLORES has managed to shift hers closer to that of GERTRUDE, and she has succeeded in getting rid of her gag which now hangs loose around her neck).

Dolores Oh my god, the gag was horrible! I’ll try to help you with yours, see whether I can get my teeth into it. (DOLORES pauses and looks thoughtfully at GERTRUDE). You do understand that we must try to help each other? (GERTRUDE grunts and nods her head).

(DOLORES leans over and tries to reach the knot of GERTRUDE’S gag from under her hair but appears to have little success. As she is working, neither woman notices the silent reappearance of THE MAN from centre stage left. THE MAN stands watching DOLORES’ efforts for a long time. Although he is still masked, the attitude of his body reveals that he is highly amused).

Dolores (Sitting back in her chair and tossing her hair out of her eyes). Oof! It’s no use. I can’t get a grip on the knot because it’s tangled in your hair. I’ll get my breath back and try again. We have to find a way out of this. It’s obvious the man, whoever he is, is the killer.

The Man (stepping into view). You’re half correct in what you say, my dear. But you won’t be getting out of anything. (As DOLORES opens her mouth to scream, THE MAN hooks the scarf with his fingers and from the front stuffs it between DOLORES’ lips and reties it behind her ear so tightly that her mouth is forced wide open. DOLORES’ scream fades into a faint mewing). That’s better. One who should not speak, could speak, and the one who cannot speak but with whom I need to exchange a few words ... Well, the balance is nearly set right. (THE MAN walks to GERTRUDE and begins to unfasten her gag). There, now, say your piece. And don’t try to scream.

Gertrude I- I’ve been thinking how it can be done.

The Man (Still supercilious but showing a flicker of interest). Go On.

Gertrude Keep the girl here until the Inspector’s given up questioning us. They’ll assume she’s the guilty one, or that dope Flannel. And they’ll be busy searching the country for her. When the house is clear, we’ll take her to a more secure place and keep her there until I - we - find the new Will and destroy it. Or we can make changes to it so that it is in my favour.

The Man More or less what I - we - intended. We’ve been through that scenario.

Gertrude Oh but, in return, you will let me go without harming me. But we’ll continue to hold the girl. I’ll soon find out whether she has relatives prepared to pay a good ransom to have her back.

The Man Or else I shall deal with her how I wish. Interesting. I need more time to think it over before I decide to set you free. And, in the meantime, it’s obvious that you both have to be separated. This young woman is far too resourceful. But first ... (THE MAN moves towards GERTRUDE).

Gertrude (Speaking quickly). And I don’t think you’re the murderer.

The Man That’s gratifying. But you can’t be too sure can you?. (He unties the gag from GERTRUDE’S neck and reties it firmly between her teeth, but not as tightly as when gagging DOLORES). Now ... to put the next step into action.

(He turns to DOLORES. He unties DOLORES from the chair - her hands remain bound behind her and her ankles tied together - and he proceeds to truss her up, arms to body, while he continues speaking).

The Man There’s a convenient little nook back there in the narrow passages, a sort of monk’s cell. Or shall we call it an oubliette, loosely speaking? Just the place to store a pretty kidnap prisoner where she won’t get into mischief.

(DOLORES’ arms are bound by now and THE MAN seats her on the chair where be begins to tie her legs at the knees. DOLORES shakes her head and moans softly through her gag).

The Man Uh huh, I don’t understand a word you’re trying to say but I’m sure as hell it’s of no importance, just: (speaking in a falsetto voice). Untie me. Let me go. I won’t tell anyone. Is that right, kiddo? (DOLORES nods her head). Hard luck. Oh I advise you to keep still. You’ll only hurt yourself struggling against those ropes. (DOLORES appears to take the advice. She sits still, looking daggers at her captor. She turns her head towards GERTRUDE, her brow knit in a puzzled frown). Upsy-daisy.

(THE MAN stands DOLORES on her feet and hoists her over his shoulder. He casts a quick glance at GERTRUDE then exits upper stage left. DOLORES raises her face imploringly towards GERTRUDE, who turns her head away. THE MAN and DOLORES are gone. The stage lights dim. A long time passes, about half a minute, during which GERTRUDE sits still, unusually calm.

Then THE MAN reappears, centre stage left. He is alone. His steps are brisk and no longer stealthy. He goes to GERTRUDE and with a few quick movements removes her gag and unfastens the ropes around her body. He stands GERTRUDE on her feet - GERTRUDE is now free but with her hands still tied behind her. She is facing the audience. THE MAN is facing GERTRUDE with his back to the audience. He removes his mask and reaches around GERTRUDE, untying her hands. When GERTRUDE’S hands are free, she puts her arms around THE MAN’S neck.

Gertrude I thought this part of the plan would never end.

The Man I know. We had to make it look good.

Gertrude Do you think the little fool suspects anything?

The Man No. You played your part extremely well.

Gertrude She won’t come to any harm, will she? You won’t hurt her?

The Man Don’t you worry. She’ll be shaken up, and maybe in some shock after the week of captivity she’s about to experience. But I’m not a murderer. Darling!

Gertrude Darling! (They embrace and kiss. It is a long passionate kiss).

The Man (Breaking away with obvious reluctance). Come on, we’d better retire to the drawing room. (They both walk arm in arm towards upper stage left. Then, when they are standing in shadow so that their faces cannot be seen, GERTRUDE stops abruptly).

Gertrude But, Darling. A thought has just occurred to me. Who is the murderer?

(GERTRUDE and THE MAN stand facing each other tensely. The lights around them dim until only the two chairs in which the women were bound are in a spotlight. The spotlight fades).

Curtain

ACT III

Scene 3

THE DRAWING ROOM

The curtain reveals an empty room. As the background music fades, a door opens centre stage right and the figure of a woman appears. She walks cautiously across to centre stage where we see that it is GERTRUDE. She is wearing the same dark mannish suit with tie that she wore during the reading of the Will. She pauses, then moves to left centre stage and comes to a halt in front of the large open fireplace. GERTRUDE looks around, obviously straining to hear whether anyone is approaching. She then taps on one of the wooden panels beside the stone fireplace: three short sharp taps followed by two slower taps. She waits several seconds then repeats the signal. After a pause, there comes an answering series of knocks in the same order. GERTRUDE sighs audibly, turns, and walks to the sofa down left centre where she arranges herself casually, legs crossed. She is in half profile to the audience, her face in partial shadow. Another door opens down right stage. JAMES enters. He is carrying a tray that holds seven glasses. He is halfway to the coffee table down centre stage before he notices GERTRUDE.

James (Stopping suddenly and coming to attention). Sorry Madame. I did not see you.

Gertrude That’s all right James. Are we to have drinkies?

James Indeed Madame. It is by special request of Detective Inspector Rex Barker.

Gertrude What on earth for? This is hardly a time for being light hearted.

James I remarked upon that, Madame, and he said that there is nothing as good for oiling social relationships than alcohol taken in judicious measure.

Gertrude Very strange. I thought the man was a fool the moment I set eyes on him.

James Quite possibly Madame. If you will excuse me Madame ... (JAMES sets the tray on the coffee table, walks to the liquor cabinet right upper stage, and returns with two bottles in one hand - apparently whisky and brandy respectively - and a soda fountain in the other. He sets down the soda fountain and the two bottles on the coffee table. He carries out these movements slowly and methodically. GERTRUDE begins to tap nervously with the fingers of one hand on the armrest of the sofa).

Gertrude I do wish you had done this earlier. It’s distracting.

James Sorry Madame, but the preparations had to be made in a hurry. The others are coming soon. (As he speaks, we hear the indistinct sounds of people’s voices approaching). I must procure the rest of the drinks ... Madame. (JAMES bows stiffly and exits down right stage).

Gertrude (Testily). Of course.

As the door closes behind JAMES, the door at right centre stage opens and REX BARKER enters. He stands aside and ushers in BLANCHE who is wearing a black chiffon off-the-shoulder gown with a flowing split skirt that comes to her feet. She is followed by the COLONEL who is dressed in kilt and tunic. After a pause TILLY enters, in kitchen whites with a flat-topped cap on her head.

Rex Please make yourselves comfortable. I see that not all of our company are arrived yet.

BLANCHE sits in the sofa at the end from GERTRUDE. The COLONEL takes a chair at down right centre stage facing the sofa. TILLY stands back uncomfortably until REX indicates the chair next to that of the COLONEL. She sits. There is an awkward silence of about fifteen seconds. Then BLANCHE and GERTRUDE speak, at the same time.

Blanche Have there been any ...

Gertrude I don’t think we ...

(They break off and look at each other with obvious dislike. At that point JAMES re-enters down right stage. He is carrying another tray on which is a decanter of sherry, a bottle of gin, tonic water, dry ginger ale, and several more glasses of varying sizes to match the drinks. He places the tray on the coffee table next to the other drinks and steps back to stand near the door, his arms at his side).

Rex (Addressing JAMES). Won’t you be seated?

James It is above my station sir.

Rex Very well. (He turns to face the others but addresses BLANCHE). What was it you wished to say my dear Miss Blanche White?

Blanche I wanted to ask whether there has been any break-through in the case?

Rex There may have been. (He turns to GERTRUDE). And your query, Madame Black?

Gertrude I was going to say that we do not have to wait for the others to arrive. It’s quite clear that the girl Dolores Beaucoeur is in it up to her neck. I for one do not expect her to make any sort of appearance.

Rex Hmm. Then how are we to explain the fact that the young woman’s handbag was found in her room? No woman intentionally leaves her bag when she goes out, especially if she doesn’t plan to return.

Gertrude (Shrugging). I can’t explain everything. That’s your job.

Rex (Drily). Quite right.

Some seconds into the awkward pause that follows this exchange, the door opens at right centre stage and ROD PIERCE enters hurriedly. His hair is awry and the overcoat he is wearing is grime-stained and buttoned incorrectly so that the bottom flaps of the overcoat are not matching.

Rod Sorry I’m late everyone. Car played up. Gave no end of trouble.

Rex I’m glad you could make it ... Please. (He indicates the empty chair next to the sofa where BLANCHE is sitting. ROD sits, combs his hair with his fingers with little success but re-buttons his overcoat more successfully).

Rex To continue from where I left off, I must put together the few clues that are presently apparent. The young woman was among you earlier, the day before the inconclusive reading of the Will. Then your company broke up to your separate rooms and interests. When you reconvened for dinner she was not among you, and a search was made of the house and around the grounds. Then I was called in once more. Now there is the clue of the handbag. The suddenness of Miss Beaucoeur’s disappearance to my mind does not suggest deceit on her part. On the contrary, it suggests that the young woman may have been detained against her will by a party or parties unknown. She is the beneficiary of the old woman’s Will. That supplies a motive that makes her a suspect in the lady’s death. But it may equally well explain her disappearance, especially if someone else and not Miss Beaucoeur is responsible for the death of the old lady.

Gertrude (Waving her hand in dismissal). If you ask me, that’s very flimsy argument. It won’t stand up in a court of law. And anyway, you have not found the identity of the murderer, have you?

Rex That is correct Madame Black. And that is why I have called you all together once more.

Tilly Then you still think that one of us did the foul deed? Lawks!

Colonel I say, dash it fellow, we can’t all remain cooped up in this ramshackle mansion. I have my hounds to attend to, and the badger sets require culling.

Rex (Regarding COLONEL KILLEM with obvious distaste). Nevertheless, I have to ask you to remain here until the case is solved.

Tilly (Sotto voce). Poor little badgers!

There follows an awkward silence. The suspects look warily at one another. ROD shifts uncomfortably in his chair. GERTRUDE crosses and uncrosses her legs and recommences drumming softly on the armrest of the sofa with the fingers of one hand. REX withdraws a meerschaum pipe from his pocket, inspects the bowl and pokes vaguely at its contents with a twisted pipe cleaner. He shrugs and replaces the pipe in his pocket without lighting it. JAMES stands impassively by the door at down right stage. TILLY wrings her hands in her lap. The COLONEL sighs and slumps back in his chair.

(REX with his hands in the pockets of his overcoat paces up and down between the two opposite rows of suspects from stage centre to down centre stage).

Rex Let me recapitulate. (Muttering comes from various members of the group).

Gertrude (In exasperation). Not again!

Rex Yes, again. There’s something I’ve missed. (He pauses suddenly and raises his hand for silence). What’s that?

The group falls into an uneasy silence. A faint scratching or scrabbling sound can be heard from somewhere behind the large fireplace. REX walks towards it and begins to examine the wall on either side of the fireplace.

Gertrude (Raising her voice a little shrilly). It can’t be anything important. I’ve been hearing it all day. Nothing but mice.

Rex Be quiet, Madame! (He continues to examine the walls, probing different sections of paneling with his fingers. The scrabbling sounds continue. Then, after a pause, a faint thumping sound is heard). There’s something, or someone, behind this wall. I do believe it’s hollow!

He continues to apply pressure to various panels, then turns to the stone fireplace. One flat stone just below the end of the mantel appears to move when he presses against it. Then there is a loud click and a wide section of the wall beside the fireplace opens to reveal the narrow doorway.

Rex What have we here? My god! (He recoils).

DOLORES BEAUCOEUR rolls from the secret doorway onto the floor of the drawing room. Her arms are bound behind her and her legs are tied together. The lower half of her face is hidden by the large scarf gag. She is wearing an overcoat.

Rex My god, it’s Miss Beaucoeur!

Tilly Lawks! The poor thing’s gagged an’ bound.

Rex: (Kneeling at DOLORES’ side and beginning to untie her arms and wrists). Poor girl. She’s badly hurt. The rope’s cut deep into her wrists.

(DOLORES lifts her head, sees GERTRUDE standing beside the chair she has just vacated, and attempts to speak. She can only croak faintly through the gag).

Rex Steady my girl. We’ll have that off you in a moment. There. (As the gag comes away in REX’S hand, DOLORES raises her head and starts to speak).

Dolores Please, you must help. There’s been an awful crime. (She faints).

Rex Lift her onto the sofa. Leave her overcoat on. It will help if she’s going into shock. (He lifts DOLORES by the shoulders while the COLONEL takes her legs).

Tilly I’ll get the smelling salts (She exits hurriedly down right stage).

Colonel What bounder did this to the poor girl?

Rex We’ll discover that quickly enough when she regains consciousness. (He sits on the edge of the sofa beside DOLORES and chafes her wrists and arms gently). This will help restore circulation to these beautiful limbs.

Gertrude (Who has stood back from the proceedings). That doesn’t sound like a very professional attitude!

Rex Sometimes one has to step out of role, Madame. (The door opens from down right stage and TILLY returns. She hands a small bottle to REX). Thank you. (He holds the opened bottle to DOLORES’ nose. She stirs but does not regain consciousness).

Rex She must have been through a lot. Those marks on her arms indicate that she’s been tied up for hours, perhaps days.

Rod What do you suggest Inspector?

Rex I think it would be practical to take Miss Beaucoeur up to her room and allow her to rest for at least an hour. She may be recovered sufficiently by then to tell us what happened.

Rod I’ll carry her.

Rex Very well. She must not be left alone for even a minute. Understand that you are all suspects in this case, and I’m not at all sure whether the young woman will remain safe. Two people at least must be present with her at all times.

Tilly I’ll look after the poor dear.

Gertrude I will too. I take back what I was saying about her. One would not wish this on one’s worst enemy. And it will be good for two women to be there for her.

Tilly I’ll go an’ get my knitting to pass the time. (TILLY exits down right stage).

Rod (Who is now carrying DOLORES in his arms as easily as one would lift a child). Madame Black, if you would be so kind as to open the doors?

Gertrude By all means, Rod. (ROD and GERTRUDE exit centre stage right).

Colonel Dash it all. Now we have to wait for the unfortunate woman to come to her senses. My hounds ...

Rex (Coldly). And badgers. I know. One of life’s little disappointments.

Colonel Harumph. No point in remaining here I suppose. I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me. (He bows stiffly and exits upper stage right).

Blanche (Who has been standing back with her hands to her mouth in alarm throughout the whole proceedings). If - If you don't mind, I'll go up to my room too. I don't feel very well.

Rex Yes, by all means. It's a nasty shock for all of us.

Blanche I- I'll lock my door.

Rex (Abstractedly). Good girl. One can't be too careful under the circumstances. (BLANCHE exits upper stage right).

James Will that be all Sir?

Rex (Deep in thought). What? Oh, yes, James. Everyone should go about their normal duties. But they are not to leave this establishment of course.

James Of course, Sir. I’ll be in the kitchen if I am needed, Sir. (He exits down stage right).

The drawing room is now empty except for REX who paces back and forth from down right centre stage to down left centre stage, fiddling with the pipe that he has taken from his pocket, and muttering to himself.

Rex They were all willing to help, even Madame Black and the Major. And yet one of them has to be implicated in the disappearance of Miss Beaucoeur, perhaps more than one person, not to mention the death of the old lady. (He pauses and glances at his watch). That will do ... I must look in on the girl and make certain that Cook and Madame Black are watching over her. (He walks towards the exit centre stage right, but as he reaches for the handle the door flies open and TILLY bursts into the room).

Tilly Oh dearie dearie me. Lawks, Inspector, come quick, it’s the young Miss.

Rex What is it? What’s happened?

Tilly I just now came up, with my knitting an’ everything, for a nice long sit-down an’ lookin’ forward to lookin’ after the young gel. Only, Inspector ...

Rex Yes yes, go on woman!

Tilly She’s gone, the young lady. Vanished, Sir. An’ her bed ain’t hardly been touched, Sir!

Rex My god. I was afraid something like this might be attempted, but not as soon as this! (He exits precipitately upper stage right followed by TILLY).

The lights dim. In the half-light, a figure emerges from down stage right, pauses a moment, then walks across to the fireplace in the wall centre stage left. The figure pauses again, then he or she disappears into the entrance to the secret passage. The wall panel closes after the figure.

Curtain

ACT III

Scene 4

THE DRAWING ROOM, SOME HOURS LATER.

The room is empty, the lights dimmed. In the half-light a figure emerges from the secret passageway by the fireplace, which closes behind. The figure straightens up, and walks across the room to the doorway upper stage right. There is a click and the light comes on. It is GERTRUDE. She is dressed as she was earlier in the mannish suit. She wraps her arms around her chest and begins to pace up and down nervously. There is a soft knock at the door centre stage right using the same pattern of signaling as in the earlier scene. GERTRUDE steps quickly to the door and flings it open. A figure enters dressed in an overcoat, the face obscured by a hat. Over his/her shoulder is a wrapped bundle that wriggles occasionally.

Gertrude You certainly took your time.

Unknown Person (Breathing heavily). Be quiet woman! There was a lot to do, and I had to wait till the house was clear of those idiots. Even a small woman is heavy when you’re carrying her down three flights of stairs.

Gertrude Put her over here. (She indicates the sofa).

The UNKNOWN PERSON steps forward and lowers the bundle onto the sofa. The prisoner is wrapped tightly from head to foot in a large satin sheet held in place by a network of ropes. The ropes are black and stand out in contrast against the peach colour of the sheet.

Unknown Person I had to take precautions with Miss Beaucoeur here, to correct your sloppy rope work. Her blindfold was almost off. It took several seconds for her eyes to adjust coming out of that closet you put her in, and that gave me time to mask myself. And she had almost worked her wrists free. A good thing you had her elbows bound. She was easy to subdue.

(The UNKNOWN PERSON straightens up and steps into the light, at the same time removing his hat. It is DETECTIVE INSPECTOR REX).

Rex That bed sheet was very convenient, and I had the ropes ready and waiting. (He looks down at the prisoner and addresses her). Struggle all you like, Miss Dolores Beaucoeur, there’s nothing you can do about those knots.

Gertrude She’ll suffocate! And she’ll recognise your voice.

Rex I doubt she hears either of us at all clearly. There are several layers around her head and she’s scarcely conscious anyway. She’ll get enough air for the time being. (He bends over the prisoner and places his ear close to her occluded face). Yes, she’s breathing shallowly, and her breasts are rising and falling gently, and rather nicely. (He stretches an arm over DOLORES and his cupped hand traces the contours of the girl’s breasts and midriff without touching them, evoking a particularly lascivious image).

Gertrude Rex, you’re revolting! Sometimes I don’t know what I see in you.

Rex You just answered your own question, didn’t you? Darling!

Gertrude Darling! (They embrace and kiss, then stand a little apart, their arms still around each other, and look down at the bound form on the sofa). She’ll fetch us a pretty penny in ransom, and that will come with my inheritance too. When I have a chance to make changes to the Will.

Rex You haven’t retrieved it yet?

Gertrude I had to wait until everyone left, couldn’t take a chance that the nosy butler or that stupid cook would discover me. It was a stroke of genius for you to send everyone away to the village police station to record their statements officially. (She looks up at the ceiling). Do you think ...?

Rex (Hurriedly). Not yet. We have to secure our pretty little kidnap victim first. I’ll take her to an old crofter’s cottage past the next village. She’ll be snug in the storage vault under the floor. No one will find her there, not even if they enter the place. The trapdoor is hidden and it’s thick and soundproof, and she’ll be very tightly gagged.

Gertrude She shan’t come to harm, will she? I asked you before.

Rex Of course not. She has less value if she’s dead. That’s why I’m keeping my identity from her.

Gertrude But she’s seen me. She knows I’m one of her kidnappers.

Rex Yes, but I have faith in your powers of persuasion. A young woman like that can be easily terrified into keeping quiet, not blabbing to the police. And even if she does blab, they’ll put Detective Inspector Rex Barker on the case.

Gertrude (Laughing with relief, but showing a trace of hysteria as well). You think of everything, Darling.

Rex Of course. Remember this my love, you’re nothing without me. (GERTRUDE pouts but remains silent). I’ll take our little retirement fund here out the back way through the passages. One can’t be too careful. When she’s stowed away nicely in the car’s boot it will be plain sailing. Then I’ll come back for you and we’ll retrieve that Will. Don’t do anything on your own initiative while I’m away. We’re running a triple risk.

Gertrude The old lady, the heiress, the Will. I understand, but ... Wait! Listen!

Rex What is it? Ahh ... (A distant sound of footsteps can be heard coming from beyond the door at centre stage right, high heels on stone paving).

Gertrude My god, someone’s back early.

Rex The sound of high heels. A woman.

(The door opens down stage right and BLANCHE enters, from the kitchen. She is wearing the same ankle length off-the-shoulder gown of black silk chiffon but now with a long matching scarf around her neck. She carries an overcoat is across her arm. She comes to a halt and takes in the scene, registering at first puzzlement then growing alarm).

Blanche Oh my god! Inspector ... (She takes a step towards the wrapped figure on the sofa). Wh - Who is it?

Rex That’s what we have to find out. I suspect it is Miss Dolores Beaucoeur.

Blanche Aren’t you going to untie her?

Rex All in good time, my dear Miss White. But first, are the others coming?

Blanche The others? Oh no. They shan’t be back for hours. Your sergeant is very thorough, but he took a liking to me and really I had nothing to say.

Rex I see. (He casts a quick, meaningful glance at GERTRUDE).

Blanche So they let me leave early. I entered through the kitchen because I was thirsty and took a drink from the refrigerator, otherwise I wouldn’t have come through here.

Rex I see. Unfortunate for you. But fortunate for us because we might not have known you were here. (He turns to GERTRUDE). We shall have to render our nosy little friend uncomfortable. (He faces BLANCHE again and produces a pistol from his pocket which he raises menacingly). Miss Black, tie her up and gag her.

(GERTRUDE moves toward BLANCHE, a piece of rope in her hands).

Blanche I don’t understand. What are you doing? Ohh nooo.

(GERTRUDE moves behind BLANCHE, snatches her coat from her and throws it to the floor, pulls her arms behind her back, and binds her. She does the job very quickly).

Gertrude You’ve come to the wrong place at the wrong time ducky. Such a pity.

Blanche : I don’t understand ... Oh no! Are you the murderers? Two of you?

Rex Gag her, I said. Quickly!

Gertrude There’s no need. No one will hear. We’re the only ones in the house. But precautions have to be taken.

Rex : I just want her to shut up!

(GERTRUDE takes the long scarf from BLANCHE’S neck, folds it to half its length, and ties a knot in the centre).

Gertrude To set your mind at ease, my pretty, neither of us touched the old lady.

Blanche But if you didn’t, then who did? And who is it you have there? We found Dolores tied up and gagged before. Is that her? And what are you doing with whoever it is?

Gertrude That’s enough! (She draws knot of the scarf between BLANCHE’S teeth. BLANCHE begins to struggle).

Rex (Moving close to BLANCHE and holding the pistol an inch from her nose). Quietly, quietly my pretty. Keep very still. That’s right. Finish the job Gertrude.

(GERTRUDE ties the gag, drawing it tight. BLANCHE whimpers and stands still with her head bowed).

Gertrude Come dear. Make yourself comfy over here, out of our way.

(She takes BLANCHE firmly by an elbow, guides her to the chair upper centre stage and pushes her into it. She kneels and quickly lashes another piece of cord around BLANCHE’S ankles).

Rex (With a trace of panic in his voice). This nicely complicates matters!

Gertrude (Walking back and facing him). Not necessarily. We now have two ransom possibilities. Miss Blanche White is loaded. Her doting father will pay up without a quibble to have her back safe and sound. I know. I’ve met him. He’s a weakling. He’s one rich daddy who won’t go to the police.

Rex Hmm. We’re not certain about Miss Beaucoeur’s fortune, or who we can find to apply leverage.

Gertrude Exactly. This is definitely a case of two being better than one. (She looks at BLANCHE who is struggling frantically at her wrist bonds). I’ll get another of those sheets.

Rex Good idea. We need to subdue her, quieten her down, like our little friend here. (He indicates the wrapped form of DOLORES who kicks her legs but otherwise lies still).

(GERTRUDE exits centre stage right. REX tests the cords that bind DOLORES within the tightly rolled sheet. DOLORES kicks her legs again. Her body shudders with the effort but she can make no other movement).

Rex Softly, softly, little one. There’s nothing you can do. You will have to learn to accept these restraints, and the gag. And you will have company.

(He looks across at BLANCHE who renews her struggles. Because she is not tied into the chair, she falls to her knees onto the carpet).

Rex (Rising and walking to BLANCHE). Don’t be a nuisance, my dear. We have ways of dealing with little nuisances.

(He takes BLANCHE under the arms, and almost throws her back into the chair. He draws the pistol from his pocket and menaces her. BLANCHE cringes).

Rex That’s better. Be very afraid ... What the hell’s keeping that woman?

(The door opens centre stage right and GERTRUDE re-enters. She carries a peach-coloured satin bed sheet which she holds aloft).

Gertrude When little miss nosey is nicely wrapped up, we’ll have a matching pair.

Rex Good work. But we mustn’t delay more than necessary. Having to take care of two women instead of one is going to slow us down.

Gertrude But think of the double dividends we’ll rake off with two dear little captives.

Rex I am thinking of that.

Gertrude (Pausing and becoming thoughtful). You know, Rex, we keep forgetting that our little schemes are overshadowed by the old lady’s murder. Do you think it can be one of the others? Do you think the murderer’s still here, in our midst?

Rex There’s no point in holding thoughts like that. In a short time we’ll be out of here. I’ll complain of work stress and ask for early long-service leave, and some other poor copper will have the problem. Come on. Help me wrap this little pretty.

(REX and GERTRUDE converge on BLANCHE who tries to scream through her gag).

Rex (Chuckling). You’re in our charge. There’s no one to hear you my dear.

Voice Off-stage Not so fast, Detective Inspector!

REX looks around indecisively. A figure emerges from the entrance to the secret passage. It is ROD PIERCE. He is wearing the overcoat that he had on before. A large automatic pistol is in his hand.

Rod I advise you to place that gun slowly and carefully on the table, Inspector. (REX looks towards GERTRUDE and complies reluctantly). Good. Now ... (ROD straightens up and advances into the room). Are you there, Major? (The COLONEL enters lower stage right. He is carrying a large and ancient service revolver).

Colonel I waited as you suggested, in case they tried to escape through the kitchen. A smart strategy.

Rod Good man. But there’s no need to wave that old fire-piece around. Our friend has seen sense.

Colonel Dem it, no excitement then. (He returns the revolver to a large holster on a belt under his overcoat).

Rod (Turning his attention more squarely to REX). You might as well know that we have had you and your accomplice Madame Gertrude Black surrounded for some time. (Raising his voice). You may join us, James. (The door opens centre right stage and JAMES enters. In his hand he is carrying a rusty poker. He stands to attention inside the doorway).

James An excellent plan, Sir, if I may say so.

Rod Old Zulu fighting tactic, the horns of the buffalo. You and the good Major here are the horns, and I am ...

Gertrude The head. Oh bravo Rod, very clever metaphor but a little dated. (She starts to walk towards stage centre).

Rod Stay right there, Madame Black. We don’t need the centre of this room more crowded than necessary. And you, Inspector, please be seated. (He indicates the chair facing the sofa). And sit on your hands so that we can be assured there are no sudden movements.

Gertrude There’s no need for such precautions. Rex ... Inspector Barker ... put down his gun voluntarily. You will find that it’s not loaded. We used it only to persuade our interfering ladies to make a minimum of fuss.

Rod While you bound and gagged them. Kidnapping is a grave crime.

Gertrude But the only one we’re guilty of.

Rod I’m not so sure about that. But there will be time enough to sort out those matters when the police arrive. In the meantime, kindly untie Miss White. Since you bound her, it is fitting that you now untie her. (GERTRUDE hesitates, then shrugs and walks behind BLANCHE and begins to untie her bonds).

Rod James, assist me with this victim who I believe is Miss Dolores Beaucoeur.

James Indeed Sir, the poor lady has already been bound for too long since we arrived.

JAMES steps forward and with a pocketknife begins to cut the ropes that hold the satin sheet tight around its victim. The ropes fall away and the person in the wrappings is lowered gently to the floor then rolled carefully over and over until the satin sheet is unwound and falls from her. It is DOLORES. She is bound hand and foot, blindfolded with a white cloth, and gagged with the silk scarf folded into a wide bandage that covers her mouth, wearing only panties and bra in translucent white lace. JAMES removes her blindfold. She looks from one rescuer to the other with wide frightened eyes.

James Steady, my dear. It’s all right now. (He raises DOLORES, supporting her back with one hand until she is sitting). Lean on me. I’ll have this off you in a moment.

(DOLORES sags back against JAMES while with both hands he unties the knot at the back of her neck. When the scarf bandage drops from her face, DOLORES ejects the gag from her mouth and starts coughing. The gag is a wadded silk scarf).

Dolores Oh god. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was going to die. (She sees REX BARKER sitting in the chair only a few feet from her and shrinks back from him). Keep him away from me!

James They can’t harm you now, my dear. The game is up. Mr Pierce saw through their scheme. The house has been under surveillance for the last hour. (He begins to free DOLORES of her bonds).

Gertrude Oho, so the police finished with you quicker than we expected.

(GERTRUDE is now standing beside the chair where BLANCHE is rubbing her wrists shakily, the gag still hanging loose around her neck).

Rod In a manner of speaking, yes. The truth is that the Major and I have been working with the police, since things did not appear right about the line of questioning our dear Detective Inspector was pursuing. There were weaknesses in Madame Black’s alibi that the Inspector missed, or chose to ignore. So we did a little detective work ourselves. We were thrown off the scent at first by the sudden disappearance of Mister Nigel Flannel. Because of that disappearance, he fell under suspicion. But Scotland Yard tracked him down to a flat in Soho. He’s nothing but a cheap con artist. They took him in on a series of unrelated charges. So he was out of the game. No ... More importantly, there is, first, the matter of the Will. Second, the old lady’s ...

Dolores (Interrupting). I- I think I can help. (She is sitting on the edge of the sofa, having wrapped the satin sheet around her). When I was lying in my room gagged and bound and wrapped up, I heard someone moving the brick in the wall where I hid the Will. Whoever it was, they must have taken it.

Rod Did you see your attacker?

Dolores No, I’m sorry. I was exhausted from lying for hours bound in that horrible monk’s cell and I was asleep. I only realised that I was being tied up again when the gag was stuffed in my mouth. By the time I opened my eyes, I was blindfolded and someone was wrapping the sheet around me. I think it was a man. It felt like a man’s hands, the way he touched me.

Rod We have proof that it was a man, right here. (He produces a thick folded document from the inside pocket of his overcoat and holds it up to show the official seal). Where there’s a Will there are ways ... Is this the Will that you were holding, Miss Beaucoeur?

Dolores Why, yes. It looks like it. But how did you find it? And how does it tell you that it was a man who tied me up? It might just as well have been Madame Gertrude Black here, because I know she tied me up before, when I was being held in that horrible cell.

Rod Very simple. I found it in the room our Detective Inspector was using.

Rex That’s a lie! I’ve never seen that document before.

Rod Then how do you explain that it was lying in a secret compartment in your suitcase?

Rex Secret - ? You bastard, how did you ...?

Rod Aha, so you admit it.

Rex I admit nothing.

Gertrude The Will, what were you going to do with it?

Rex (Obviously rattled). I- I was keeping it for you, my dear. For us.

Gertrude I don’t believe you, you worm! You were going to take it and leave me with nothing. You knew I couldn’t hold the two young women on my own.

Colonel (To GERTRUDE). Will you find it easier then to believe that it was our Inspector here who killed the old woman. A crooked cop if ever I saw one!

Rod You’ve piled one offence upon another. You’ve added kidnapping and attempted fraud to murder, both you and Madame Black your accomplice.

Rex You can’t prove murder. I was nowhere near the pond at the time.

Rod Unfortunately for you, a passing villager recognised you walking across country towards this chateau. You were coming from the direction of the weir at about the time the old woman drowned. And the tails of your overcoat were wet. The farmer was afraid to mention because you are well known in the district for holding grudges, using your position to arrest harmless poachers on flimsy evidence, offences made obsolete two hundred years ago.

Colonel We’ve got you to rights now, feller.

Rex This is all nonsense.

Rod But you slipped up just now when you replied to Madame Black. You’re certainly implicated in the kidnapping of Miss Beaucoeur, and we’ll let the proper authorities deal with the other charges.

Blanche Why don’t you men stop chattering for a moment and take care of Dolores? Can’t you see the poor girl’s exhausted? She must have gone through hell.

Colonel Yes, we’re forgetting ourselves. Cook is upstairs preparing the bed for Miss Beaucoeur right now. We suspected the poor gel was held here somewhere. And you, Miss White, you must be shaken up too. I suggest you accompany Miss Beaucoeur.

Blanche Thank you. You’re kinder than I expected. That business of the badgers ...

Colonel Only a joke, Miss White. Cook took it too much to heart. I really like the little blighters. Culling them means resettling some of their families in adjoining fields to reduce population pressure.

Blnche I’m so glad. And Cook will be chuffed ... Come on, dear. (She goes to DOLORES and takes her arm, JAMES supporting her on the other side. DOLORES looks up at JAMES with something more than just gratitude in her eyes).

James We’ll get you away from these horrible people.

BLANCHE and JAMES escort DOLORES towards the door centre stage right. GERTRUDE, screened momentarily by their passage from the sight of ROD and DETECTIVE INSPECTOR REX, moves to centre stage and the coffee table. As DOLORES and then BLANCHE reach the door, GERTRUDE takes up the revolver and turns to face REX.

Gertrude You lying, cheating bastard! (She raises the revolver and aims it point blank at REX’S chest.).

Rex (Rising to his feet and covering his face with his arms). Gertrude, Gertrude, don’t!

Dolores (Calling from the door). Gertrude, for heaven’s sake, no ...

ROD and the COLONEL stand frozen to the spot. REX turns, flings his arms wide, and runs jerkily towards the door down stage right. As he reaches it, GERTRUDE fires. REX stumbles and slumps face forward to the door. GERTRUDE fires again. REX utters a low moan and slides to the floor where he lies huddled and motionless. GERTRUDE steps forward. As ROD moves to intercept her and the revolver drops from her hand --

the Curtain falls

FURNITURE LIST

Drawing-room

Liquor cabinet

Fireplace

Upstairs Armchair

Secret panel

Armchair Armchair

Sofa

Armchair

Downstairs

Coffee table

Lucky Dale Girl Detective, Comic, Bindher

Secret Room

Doorway to secret passage

Chair Side table

Phantom Comic, InDiDs

SOUVENIR PROGRAMME FOR OPENING NIGHT

WHERE THERE’S A WILL: A Play

By

Delia Biancoflore

Directed by

Eloise Mordaza

Ligotage Theatre Royale, Rue D’Attache, Paris with an international cast.

Adapted from the Bande Dessinee, Faux Projet by Brian Sands

Based on the novel Dangerous Inheritance by Mignon Marceau

Blanche White the good-time society girl Cordelia White

Gertrude Black the scheming aunt Alison Blau

Tilly Kettle the cook Delia Biancoflore

James Butler the butler Brian Sands

Colonel Red Killem the retired military officer Briccone Quattro

Rex Barker the Detective Inspector Jeb Delch

Rod Pierce the adventurer Noir le Comte de Plaisance

Nigel Flannel would-be gigolo Donald Caisson

Dolores Beaucoeur the young heiress Laura Celeste

A homage to the drama of Francis Durbridge.

[Ivoire, from Grimbor’s Distressed Crimefighteress Page, European Wing, French & Belgian Comics, contributed to DC by Nicolas. Gag added.]